Weekly Photo Challenge: Solitude

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via Photo Challenge: Solitude

The door is usually a lonely structure that holds so much yet is abandoned for the most part. The door holds so many secrets that if it were to open up, then most of us would want it shut immediately. There are those actions that only those behind closed doors know and will admit to doing. For instance a couple that is in an abusive relationship, to the outside world they are perfect, yet only the two of them and maybe the children know what is going on. This is so true in the African culture where you are not supposed to shout to the world your private issues, dirty laundry should be hung in the back of the house never to be shown to the world.

Then the door opens up many things that those inside might not have the chance to bring out. Literally that is why it is called, the door of opportunities. A door opening physically may bring with it opportunities both physically and even financially. Some of those who have great talent but are afraid to venture out, when the door opens they have nowhere else to hide but to come out and face their fears.

Solitude. That is such a heavy word that carries a lot of meaning and significance. You can find yourself in solitude out of your own free will. Sometimes you just want to be alone, with your thoughts, daydreams and even worries. Not that you are lonely but you just want to be, left, alone. That’s why the quote below just speaks to me so much, I have moments like those, where I want to go out in the middle of the night and just think, about nothing. Then I remember hey, I live in Kibera, I cannot go out into the darkness and think and stuff.. 

do-you-ever-just-want-to-go-outside

Anyway. Solitude is good. We all need that sometimes. Sometimes it is forced upon us, but just remember that door that you go through everyday, holds so much mystery and wisdom that you cannot fathom.

By the way I just found this in my blog draft I think it was for May or something, the only words were these “via Photo Challenge: Solitude.” So I scrolled in my Photo Gallery and literally just stopped on the picture of this door. I took it back in February in River Park Estate in Athi River…story for another day. So it turns out, it was just the perfect shot for the Weekly Photo challenge, so long ago. Sometimes inspiration just finds you wherever. I know I have not posted for a gazillion years but my mind has started working again, all that tension in the rat race closed off my grey matter but hopefully I am back and will be writing even if it’s just shitty rambles, at least my ink will not be dry! You feel me? I hope I made some sense, no?

Live in Burgundy Moments

Mulunga

I’m a mess but my own kind of mess

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I want to hate. I want to curse. I want to scream. I want to be angry. I want to cry. How can so many emotions exist in one single soul? Can a heart be able to hold all these in and still beat 364 days in a year, 365 if it is a Leap Year? I just feel hopeless. I look around and I’m exactly where I never wanted to be. See I had a plan, a plan that if it had worked, I’d be retiring and enjoying raising my family, four kids to be precise. Yet here I am sitting on a couch that I bought…paid for it in three installments…now it’s in my cousin’s house where I have moved in, after losing my job. Could it get any worse than this? Continue reading “I’m a mess but my own kind of mess”

Having So many emotions in a single moment

Conflicting Emotions
Monday 2nd march 2015
8.24am
This is a new beginning for me, I have the chance to sort my life and be able to stand on my own two feet. I pray that the contract will be prolonged so I get more experience but this is enough for now…more than enough
9.30am
As much as I’m excited about the payment I’d rather be at H job where there’s excitement but pesa (money)talks, no worries I’ll endure it just to be independent. I’ll get used to it. I hope it picks up coz it will be long days but let me get ready to enjoy doing nothing coz this is what it looks like I’ll be doing…NOTHING! For the money I will watch paint dry! Hope time itaenda haraka siku iishe (time will move so that the day ends). Continue reading “Having So many emotions in a single moment”