Every relationship starts with a hello. Conversation. You talk up that woman to ask her for a date. Conversation. You ask that guy about his life when you are together. Conversation. The relationship thrives on constant communication between two people. Without it the relationship would not even exist in the first place. Talk is important in all relationships, whether it is romantic or not. Romantic ones are the ones that really need to feed on constant and meaningful communication.
When you begin dating, you are always excited to speak to each other, all the time, every day if possible. You spend half the nights on the phone talking about anything and everything. From the latest movie, to the weather and even food. Every day it seems like you are talking about something different even if it may be the same thing you talked about the last three days. It’s still exciting to hear about his first basketball dunk that he has told you since the month began. It’s still interesting to hear about her new hairstyle that she got the last two weeks. You’re both having fun with each other’s mundane tales that may bore your friends.
I always wondered when I heard that a couple have been married for fifty years, what are they talking about or been talking about all those years. I mean you can only talk about how the weather has changed for so long. But then I understood that they had found each other’s perfect half, they may have had problems but they worked through it and still kept being in love. At the end of the day it all boils down to…Communication. Being able to freely speak to your partner without fear or reservation.
No matter how long you two have been together, there will be times where the dialogue runs dry when you are on a date. Moment where there are long silences in between the conversation you two are having. It is what you do during these silence spells that determine whether you are heading in the right direction or not. This may even be the point in the relationship to determine whether you will be together or not. It may be a long or short relationship but how you treat the silence or deal with it will give you a clue whether it is all worth it to begin with.
If during these uncomfortable moments do not faze you then you two have gotten to the comfort levels. Congratulations. That means you are comfortable enough with your partner that you do not need words to validate your relationship. You are contented to know that you are not under pressure to keep things interesting or going. Being able to handle the silence moments means that you have matured in the relationship and you can be satisfied just being together and not saying a word.
On the other hand if you find yourself writhing in your seat after a few minutes of silence then that could spell trouble in the relationship. This is especially in new relationships. If you are just getting to know each other, then it could be allowed but if you are passed that stage and have dated for a while then it is cause for alarm if seconds of silence cause you to be squeamish on your chair.
If you keep trying to come up with topics to discuss when together, then it means you have not really allowed yourself freedom in the relationship. When the relationship begins, you used to speak forever but now it has become a huddle to come up with things to say to each other. The uncomfortable silences become too frequent and more pronounced. It could be time to call it quits or find ways to make that space more useful. This just ends up straining the relationship if you have to list topics that you can talk about.
If you are on a date and each time you find yourself going back to the same topic like commenting on the weather or asking about his/her family, then it could spell an obstacle coming ahead in your relationship. It is even worse if the whole time you are together your date keeps checking their phone and when you ask they tell you they were just checking the time. It just spells doom ahead, you are probably on your way to a breakup or the relationship will not even begin in the first place.
When you cannot handle uncomfortable silences in a relationship you need to step back and ask yourself why that is. Try and resolve why you are having those uncomfortable and awkward silences. Because if you do not, it will end up causing a strain in your relationship which may not be repaired in time to save your love.
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