Mama your daughter will be okay

african Sometimes I made you regret But you forgot Because you loved me Sometimes I made you cry But you forgave Because you cared Sometimes I angered you But you assumed because you understood Sometimes I made you smile And you thanked God Because of me Sometimes I made you curse But you took it back Because you regretted Sometimes I made you laugh And you did Because you had hope Sometimes I failed you But you never gave up Because you believed.
You are a Candle in a storm…For all the times I made you cry those that I did not listen even when I disappointed you. Forgive me. For every moment I never cherished each time I made you sad or when I disagreed with you and made you regret.I am sorry. Pardon me. For sometimes not understanding, for assuming we will always be together. Not telling you how much I love you when the chance seemed to slip away I apologize for not saying goodbye to you, for allowing myself to regret now. For the times silence seemed fine when I had questions to ask, now I need to let go. For I know you are proud of me even when life seemed unfair. You loved me to the end. I want to cry now but I know I don’t have to because sometimes I feel I have not cried enough other times I feel I cannot cry enough. You may never come back home but my heart is where you are.
For the times we laughed together. I am grateful. I am thankful for each graceful moment God gave us. Every bit of experience we shared, all the joy we had and sometimes even the silence that we both understood and enjoyed. I appreciate your love when darkness covered me, when despair loomed over us and you never stopped loving me. You will forever remain in every part of me, I know I cannot explain everything or comprehend why or even answer the reasons I know life was good for us and to us.
I miss you most days, some days I want to give up others I wonder how, why, or what, each time I think those thoughts I have to remember you are still there. Slowly I try to bring sunshine one by one the stars shine, it won’t ever be the right time to be happy. My life used to revolve around you now I do not know where to begin I feel lost. You need to know I cannot do this alone. Understand I need you even though you are gone. You still live in me and I will not stop asking for help because not answering does not mean you don’t hear.
You are and will always be my mother…my life…my existence…Now I can tell you goodbye I never had the courage before I know you understand why. Now I can face the reality, truths knowing you have not left me alone. You left me with family. Goodbye mother. I love you. I promise I will see you again…
Live in Burgundy Moments
Mulunga

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