The art of ogling: women do it too and better

looking-at-other-women
Guys, here is a little secret that I’m sure you have been wondering, whispering among yourselves even debating whether it is true. Well, sorry to burst you balls (pun intended) it is true, women ogle at men, and they do it better than you. So catch your breath and let me fill you in on this art that you thought you had it down to the wire…the art of ogling. Evolution has it that it is only the man who is supposed to hunt and provide for its female. As much as I am not a feminist and still agree that a man is the head of the house, you must agree that times have changed. Drastically. Of course men hunt….still hunt, beg your pardon it stopped being a definite phrase. No offence.
The hunting game has been evolving throughout the ages with men creating different rules that define how he should chase, capture and dominate the female species. Back in our grandfathers’ age, men just hid in bushes and waited for the beautiful damsels to appear when they went to fetch water at the river. They would then attack and kidnap the females and run with them back to their own villages. Elders would then go to the girl’s homestead and negotiate the bride price and voila, you have your bride! Simple times, now if you try that you will be arrested and charged with reckless endangerment, kidnapping among other hosts of charges that will lead you to many years in prison.
There was no wooing or sweating your palms off trying to convince the innocent damsel that you are the alpha male among you rather hefty, taller well-built companions. No dating for years, once you are kidnapped, you are married and that was that. You knew your role as the woman and he knew his role as the man of the house. Nothing was negotiable and marriages lasted for decades. My grandfather was probably married for more than 50 years, arranged marriages seemed to work.
Come to our parents age and the dating game changed, somewhat there were fewer if non kidnapping cases. Men worked hard to get the woman they wanted to marry. Dates were chaperoned and woe unto you if found in a dark corner with a boy leaning on the wall, you drawing maps on the dusty road with your worn out slippers. Parents had to know who you were dating, which family did they come from, which clan, were there night runners in that family? Everything was investigated by family, friend and relatives. Once all the sides were satisfied, takes a year or two, but back then people were patient, then there would be a wedding announcement and the whole community got involved in the wedding. A lot was at stake so there was nothing like divorce, as a woman whether your husband drank or was a womanizer, you bared your cross. Family was the utmost sacred entity in society.
Then came the now generation, the whole hunting game changed, did a complete 360 degrees turnaround. In this age of instant coffee, instant noodles, instant messaging, and instant everything, there is really a thin line between who the hunter is and who is being hunted. So game on. Women in bars drinking the men under the table, men unashamedly allowing themselves to be kept. What happened to men’s egos? Our grandfathers and fathers would rather have their arms chopped off or be drowned in storm than allow a woman to be the sole provider. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not bad for a woman to provide in the home, as long as the man is doing his best not just lounging around like a bum expecting the woman to take care of him.
So back to ogling.
Men will argue that man was not created to be monotonous so any excuse to ogle at a random woman will be defended to the death with that statement. The worst thing is that men will always get in trouble for ogling at other random women when they are in the presence of their ‘the one’. It’s not hard to tell when a man is ogling at that woman across the table or just walking on the street. Usually his whole attentions shifts from you to that random woman who has just walked by. His whole body literally shifts, so it’s just obvious he is lusting. No matter how subtle he may think he is ogling, the woman will always know. She may not confront you but she will definitely know you were trying…the key word here trying to hide the fact that you are looking.
Your jaw does not have to be on the floor for your woman to know you are ogling, the truth is, as a man you are not good at hiding your wandering eyes, tongue and/or lips. Men almost always physically react when they are ogling. We see you, how your stature changes, lips part or the brow lifts, breath slightly increases and a smile plays at the corners of your mouth. So predictable. Or just the obvious neck breaking turn of the head before you realize you are with your woman.
In case you did not know or you pretend not to know…Women. Ogle. A. Lot. And you probably never catch us doing it. The worst part is the part that women often ogle at…no explanation needed. The paramount part is that we know how to multitask, so we may be lovingly gazing at your eyes at a restaurant but in a split second we have checked out that six-packs-sculptured-biceps-scruffy-beard-slim-suit-dressed-jaluo guy on the bar counter.
Women’s ogling is so subtle that you will never catch us staring at him, we may be drooling over him but our lips are not moving. Women have mastered this art that men thought was a reserve for them and they do it so creatively and discretely chances are you will never catch her doing it. Women know what they mostly ogle at so this calls for a technique that will ensure the man holding her waist will never catch her gawking at. Mostly the ogling is harmless and usually lasts for that moment only and if caught women know how to wiggle their way out of that argument…that’s our secret.
Physically appreciating him or her is never wrong just as long as it does not lead to actually taking action and diving into full on flirting or worse infidelity. Ogling keeps things interesting, sometimes it makes you appreciate what you have and even motivate you to do the best to achieve your ultimate goal of looking great. Guys, if you love to ogle at other women then just know that she has crafted her ogling art to be as invisible as possible. Hey, it takes two to tango, we’re on to you male species.
Live in Burgundy Moments
Mulunga

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