Having So many emotions in a single moment

Conflicting Emotions
Monday 2nd march 2015
This is a new beginning for me, I have the chance to sort my life and be able to stand on my own two feet. I pray that the contract will be prolonged so I get more experience but this is enough for now…more than enough
As much as I’m excited about the payment I’d rather be at H job where there’s excitement but pesa (money)talks, no worries I’ll endure it just to be independent. I’ll get used to it. I hope it picks up coz it will be long days but let me get ready to enjoy doing nothing coz this is what it looks like I’ll be doing…NOTHING! For the money I will watch paint dry! Hope time itaenda haraka siku iishe (time will move so that the day ends).

I miss Horizon already, it was fun, and CEO alisema ukweli (he said the truth) the working environment is great! People are great work is fun so fun so fun Aaaaaaaaargh! I want to scream out loud! Maybe kesho(tomorrow)  will be better. Dressing doesn’t matter here, I just have to know whether I will survive here or not, if I really had a choice I’d go back to Horizon but I’ve refused so many jobs I can’t refuse anymore. I just have to work my way around this, this boredom I already feel…think of the money B, think of the MONEY!
Time just won’t move! What the hell! Hope kesho (tomorrow) will be busy I think ntabeba (i’ll carry a)  novel I see whether ill read. Njaa nayo!( i’m so hungry)  Am so freakin’ hungry! And lunch is 2 hours away!
Still here sitting on the same spot pretending like I don’t want to scream my freakin’ head off! Think of the MONEY B, think of the MONEY what you can do with it, and move out move on. Don’t lose focus of the end game…having your own house and your freedom think that and it won’t seem so bad sawa? okay?
I don’t really care about making friends, I just feel I don’t really need to know anybody…not too excited about creating new bonds hata hivo (seems like) guys have already formed these annoying little groups and they just ignore you, maybe am being judgmental but starting other friendships feels like a bother to me.
I HATE THIS PLACE! Well, the people mostly but ill survive, I always do. I want to run away…now I get what they say that money isn’t everything and that more money doesn’t necessarily mean happiness if you’re not doing what you love or a least enjoy. I know I should not complain coz I’ve been looking for such a salary for long, ni vile tuu siku (it’s just that the day) is slow but I know by the end month itakuwa (will be) engaging.
Am so bored I just want to sleep na sii usingizi ya kuenjoy (not really sleeping to enjoy myself) just to chase away the boredom and monotony. It’ll take a while to accept that I’ll be here for a while. If I finish this month I know I’ll be okay with it all and be happy.

Live in Burgundy Moments



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