Lost romance and being on full regret mode

Regret

We usually met in the evening’s coz most of the time he played football and the pathway to their house was next to where I and my mum stayed. So one time as we talked he asked me what I had done or given to him because the other night he had been seated in the living room and instead of watching the news his mind was thinking about me. Of course my heart fluttered as my eyes twitched happily.

I told him that I had put juju on him but he laughed and took my hand into his and wrote something in the palm of my hand. Since it was dark and we were seated under a dimly lit place I didn’t see it until I got into the house and saw it clearly. He had written my name and the word LOVE.
I remember there was a time he came to see me at home and it was in the evening. We were just hanging around with some friends chatting away. He had called me through someone and I had come but told him that I had to go back since it was cold and I had on a short dress that I complained that it was doing nothing to keep the cold away. We were seated on a stool when he removed his jumper and told me that since I was complaining about mosquitoes I should cover my legs with his jumper…aaaaaw. I know, he is that kind of guy…
I loved talking to him, especially after one of his parents passed he’d tell me about their final moments, the laughter and the advice he got, that made us closer coz he was able to understand what I was going through and he gave me strength just by being there for me when I was going through a similar problem. It was barely two months after his tragedy when mine occurred but his focus was on me whenever he came to see me during the painful moments. It’s like we were both grieving and I know I never told him directly how grateful I am for him being there for me I hope he knows because I was more stronger knowing he shared my pain in ways that nobody else could. If I was to thank him I would perfect it with a kiss and a hug. His being there for me meant the whole world to me; no one can ever take those moments away from me as they are handwritten in my soul. Thank you so much.

It is moments like these that make me realise that I was blessed to have him in my life. For instance during the arrangements for her funeral, he came by with some friends as we were having supper, and refused to eat saying that he was not feeling well but I told him that my food was like medicine that if I gave him then he would get better. So typical him he said that I should feed him and I scooped a spoonful of rice and some meat and fed him in front of our friends who just laughed…it felt perfect and so right thinking about it makes my eyes a little teary and misty.
A few days before we left for upcountry, he came again and we chatted but I wasn’t really in a talking mood as that was the day the family was packing things in preparation for the next day’s trip. Somehow it now began to hit me that she was really gone. I was seated on our doorway since it was open, no one was there coz my aunt and uncle had gone for a meeting about all the arrangements. I kept talking in low tones and even told him and the friend that they had to leave coz I wasn’t in the best of moods. All of a sudden tears just started pouring down my face and I stood up wanting to enter the house and close the door behind but he somehow grabbed me and pulled me to him and said I was going nowhere. After calming down he told me that he would have followed me into the house and that he had a feeling that something was not right from the moment he came to see me. So he sat with me until some of our friends came to join us.
On the last day before the trip he came to see me and as he was leaving he told me that the weather would be cold so I better have something warm. He left and said that he was coming back. Later when he did he was carrying two jackets and told me to have them so I could be warm. He had sprayed them with his perfume…I would have his perfume each time I put the jackets on. So I told him that I would not return them but had inherited them and he said it was fine with him. My friends and I walked him to his house and I won’t forget hugging him goodnight coz it felt pretty good. He was wearing a black fitting T-shirt; he was looking great as it showed off his well built chest. Ha!ha!

Live in Burgundy Moments
Mulunga

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